Forever and Almost Always
by predictablyunpredictable315
Summary: When an epic love story ends, another begins. But is this the beginning of something new? Or is it simply the realization that this love is forever and in this case, almost always?
1. The Art of Letting Go

_Dear Journal,_

_I nearly lost it today. And although I didn't, which I probably should be proud of-I can't help but feel disgusted with myself. While Meredith was lying in a pool of her own blood, seconds away from death, I wanted to drain every single drop from her body without any care in the world. In fact, I didn't know how I managed to save her._

_Oh wait, I do. Her._

_The look that she gave me was full of longing, trust and hope. It was like all of the disappointment, the horror, the pain of recent events- all the monstrous things I've done as the "ripper" had been put to rest. And that's what saved me, my love for this one girl – my love for Elena Gilbert._

_It's supposed to be the kind of happily ever after you read in fairytales. Boy loves girl. Boy saves girl. Boy kisses girl. That's what happened in Beauty and the Beast right? But she doesn't seem to feel the same way. This is no fairytale._

_Yes journal, once again my brother has come into the picture. And you're probably not surprised by this. She's beautiful, more beautiful than Katharine ever was, and with a heart of gold. Who wouldn't fall in love with her?_

_I cannot blame Damon for the feelings that he has. He was there when I was not. He can control himself now. And I can see that because of his love for her, he has become a better person. He doesn't need to kill humans, while I remain hidden in the shadows trying yet failing to control my cravings. At this point, although I hate to admit it – He's better for her. He wouldn't kill her. I'm not sure if I have the strength to do the same._

_This time things will be different though. Unlike with Katharine, I will have to let him be. I will not share Elena with my brother. She deserves better than that. And since she harbors feelings for him as well her silence after I said I loved her told me as much—I am left with no choice. He can have her. He is better for her. _

_God, I never thought I would admit that. That was the hardest thing I had to write—the hardest thing I will ever have to do. He can't have her. She has and always will belong to me. She has my heart. But what am I supposed to do when he is better for her? Yes journal, this is what is best for everyone. I will hide my feelings, lose her in the process – but I won't lose my brother—not again._

_Had it not been for my selfishness in the first place he would not have turned. I know this happened ages ago, but it's true. And now, after all the bitterness—all those years of trying to make my life miserable, he has finally forgiven me. We are brothers again. And this misery that will come about by losing her—it is my doing and not his. He has been helping a lot with controlling my cravings—the least I can do for Damon is to let him be happy. And I know she would make him happy and he would do the same._

_Because I don't deserve her. How can I protect her when I am the person she needs protection from? How can I save her from myself? I am the ripper—an uncontrollable animal. I have killed so many people in the past few weeks, and I haven't felt this lost in my entire existence on what to do. We can never go back to the way things were. Not after this. Not after what I've done. Yes journal, this is what is right for her. Because I love her, I will let her go. _

_I can only hold on to the hope that someday I will be able to control myself – that the day will come when I will be the man that she deserves, the prince in the stupid fairytales and not the villain. And on that day I will fight for her—fight for us. I will do whatever it takes to win her back. _

"_I love you Stefan, Hold on to that". Those were her exact words, the words that give me this hope that our love is forever. Yes Elena, I will hold on to this. Hold on to us. _

_Someday we will have our own happily ever after._

"What has been keeping you so deep in thought, brother? I've been telling you the plan for the past few minutes and you haven't said a thing," Damon interrupted, placing his hand on the page Stefan had just finished writing on.

Stefan pulled his journal out from underneath, and stood to put it back in its place on the bookshelf across the room. "Oh it's nothing. You know that I love writing things down. It's been keeping me sane for the past—oh, hundred years now? What plan are you talking about?"

"Very funny Stefan. But seriously, you didn't hear a thing I said? I have a plan to Kill Klaus. I mean, who cares about Tyl-?"

"No." Stefan interrupted placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Damon turned to face him. He looked like he was ready to kill.

"What? So you don't want to kill Klaus? What has gotten into you, brother? I'm confused."

Stefan knew it was the perfect time to make his point. "Of course I want to kill Klaus. He took everything from me—everything I had to live for. I will never forget that he took Elena. But the thing is, and I really hate to admit it—he didn't MAKE her doubt her feelings for me. He didn't make Elena have feelings for you either. Yes Damon, no surprise, the girl that I love has fallen in love with YOU as well. Klaus didn't compel her to do so. And I can't control that. I can't even control myself. So yes, instead of focusing all my energy into killing the hybrid, I just want to focus on myself for a change thank you very much. "

Damon couldn't believe what he was hearing and had to take a step back. "What did you just say? Elena loves me?"

Stefan shrugged. He did not want to have this conversation with his brother. He wanted to rip Damon's heart out if only he didn't care that much. "Don't sound so surprised. You kissed her remember? Yes brother, the epic love story has come to an end."

As Damon's eyes lit up with the realization, Stefan couldn't help but feel even worse. In fact, jealous would be a better term—jealous that he wasn't in control anymore. Jealous that the girl he loved was slowly slipping out of his grasp. Once again he couldn't believe he was allowing this to happen. _This is better for her Stefan. You love her, you have to let her go._

"I apologized for that. At least I remember I did. I will never forget her face, her eyes—the way she looked straight into my soul, the way her lips met mine-so she meant all that? She, l-o-v-e-s ME?"

Stefan had enough. He slammed his brother against the wall, his right hand locked around Damon's neck. "Here's the thing, Brother. Don't think for a second that if I had a choice in things, I would let you even be near her. I love her. I, Stefan Salvatore, will always love her, but I am no good for her. And I don't know if I ever will. So you could at least have the decency to be careful with what you say when you are around me. And if I find out that you forced her into anything, I will break your neck. If you make her cry, I will torture you. If you break her heart, I will shove a stake through yours, got it?"

As Stefan let go, Damon sank to the floor trying to catch his breath. "It must be my lucky day. I will make her happy brother, trust me. I really care about her. I'll make sure she's safe. Damn, I still can't believe this is happening right now. Or is this another one of your games? Do you want me to think that I stand a chance then snatch her the next minute? I can see what you're trying to do here Stefan, you can't fool me. And what if I don't want to be a part of it?"

Stefan looked him straight in the eye. "I am not playing games. Not with Elena and you know it. I'm serious. She loves you. She may not have said it aloud but she didn't say she loved me either. And I could see it in her eyes. You got to her. Go run away together for all I care. Just remember that I will be there to kill you if you even _think_ of hurting her."

Damon laughed although a part of him still believed his brother must be up to something. Well at least he'd have Elena, he could deal with whatever his brother had up his sleeve. "Oh I will. I wouldn't want to mess with Stefan the ripper now would I? Speaking of which, can I just say what a grip you have? You almost broke my neck here. It must be the human blood. I told you. Do you feel stronger?" he said, changing the topic.

Stefan turned away, trying to keep himself together and hold back his tears. _Of course he didn't feel stronger. Hello, he was going to lose the one person he ever loved. A part of him will always be missing. How could he be okay with this? Because it's what's best for her. That's it. She'll be safe. That's what's important. Stefan, this is the right thing to do. _"I'm fine."

Both of them knew he was lying.


	2. When The Truth Hurts More than a Lie

**Chapter II**

_Coffee Shop – Mystic Falls_

"So let me get this straight—after all that he's been through, Stefan finally professed his love for you and you said you don't know how you feel? Are we talking about Elena Gilbert, my best friend, who was obsessed with Stefan—the same woman who would constantly go on and on about how hot he looked all the time and how gooey he'd make you feel inside?" Caroline asked, taking a sip of her cappuccino.

Although she would never crave food or drink again (aside from blood, of course), having coffee was always a good reminder of her humanity and how things _could_ go back to normal. And of course, it was always a perfect time to catch up with her best friend- who at the moment seemed to be quite tired and distraught.

Elena shrugged. "It's complicated."

Caroline couldn't resist giving her an exasperated look. She didn't believe it for a minute although she could already guess what was making her friend have second thoughts. "Really—complicated how? Or should I say complicated Damon?"

Hearing his name made Elena jump. Her mind seemed to be all over the place after what happened with Stefan but she knew she couldn't hide the truth. Not from her best friend. "To be honest—I don't know. It's not like I wanted it to happen. Right from the start I said I wouldn't be Katherine, but Damon sort of crept up on me. I didn't manipulate anyone. And besides, you are not allowed to judge. I see the way you look at Klaus. He's the enemy Caroline, I hope you haven't forgotten that."

It was Caroline's turn to shrug. "Don't try to turn this on me woman. That isn't fair and you know it. Besides Tyler's gone to who knows where and Klaus has been good to me. He didn't leave me to die that night, remember?"

That much was true, Elena knew Klaus could have left Caroline to die when Tyler accidentally bit her, but he didn't. And she also saw how the hybrid somehow fancied her best friend. But right now she was trying to make Caroline understand how she was feeling and so she had to insist, "Don't get the wrong idea okay? I'm not trying to attack you or anything. I'm just trying to make a point here. And who am I to judge really? But know that just like Stefan, Tyler left out of love and just like Damon, Klaus is being really good to you. They may not be the same people, and I know each one of them has had his faults, but can you just try to understand how I'm feeling? Think about it."

Caroline didn't need to really give it much thought. Her best friend had a point. She was playing with fire by harboring feelings for the hybrid, but she couldn't resist. Instead of distracting him, she seemed to be the one driven to distraction whenever he was around. Elena must feel the same way with Damon. It was completely obvious that Damon was smitten with her, and every chance he could he wasn't embarrassed to show it. And those eyes, okay, Elena was definitely right about _complicated._ "Okay, okay I get it. It's not easy to explain. This must be why we're best friends."

Elena smiled. "Maybe."

It was at that moment that Caroline's cell phone rang. When she fished it out of her pocket and saw who was calling, she groaned. "Speaking of the devil," "Hello?"

Elena didn't need to ask who it was.

"What do you want now Klaus? No I don't want to fly to Paris for dinner. No you can't buy- " Caroline began, but when she saw her best friend giving her a look, she stood, waved a hand and moved to the far end of the room to finish the conversation.

"Hello beautiful."

Elena turned and smiled half-heartedly when she saw who it was. Damn it, she would definitely have to kill Caroline later. Or at least teach her a lesson. Was he there the whole time? How much did he hear?

"Do you mind if I sit down? Caroline waved, and I was hoping that meant that you needed my company while she'd flirt with the hybrid" Damon said, pulling out the chair Caroline previously occupied.

"Do I have a choice in the matter? How much of the conversation did you actually hear? Oh never mind. Go ahead, no one's stopping you."

Damon could instantly tell by her response that she was not in the mood to see him. He hadn't heard much of their conversation-just that she was comparing him to _Klaus?_ When did that happen? But it didn't matter. Nothing could make him feel bad—not today, not forever it seemed. He understood that Elena was confused with how things went down and with the way she was feeling but the thought alone that she might actually be in love with him—might actually choose him over his brother for a change, made him smile. He just needed to be a little more patient. But that didn't keep him from seeing her as soon as he could.

He took a sip from the remaining contents of Elena's cup of coffee while she seemed to be overly distracted by his presence. She looked outside the window instead. This girl definitely needed cheering up and he knew just how he could do so. "Mmmm, with cream and sugar, just the way I like it."

That seemed to break her from her stupor. She looked at him and a smile slowly crept up on her face. She tried to stop herself, but ended up grinning, pointing at her upper lip. "You've got something on your—"

Damon smiled and did his best not to crack up himself. He assumed a thinking position first and then began doing his best Charlie Chaplin imitation.

Elena burst out laughing. "You think this is funny? I don't understand what is so hilarious with what I'm doing," he proclaimed, raising his eyebrows up and down repeatedly.

"Damon, you've got something—"

He interrupted her by raising two fingers in the air, pointing at her like guns and then immediately tickling her. "Now I know what's funny." Elena couldn't stop laughing and she almost fell off her chair.

"Da-mon, stop it. Da-mon." Then she shrieked, "Damon!" Everyone in the coffee shop stared at them, not in anger or anything of the sort. In fact they were all smiling, and must be thinking _oh young love_. Damon immediately stopped what he was doing, wiped his foamy mustache off and smiled. She blushed.

"I can't believe you just did that. You're incredibly annoying Damon Salvatore. And you've always loved being the center of attention."

He smiled back. Mission accomplished. "Oh, annoyingly awesome I take it? But of course! And the center of attention—well it's been pretty hard getting it from the person I want the most, I don't really care about everyone else."

Her face must have been really red now. Damon was always a charmer-that much was obvious to anyone. But what was she doing? This didn't seem right. Stefan was the only one who could make her laugh. He was the only person she would let in completely, close enough to know what would bug her and conversely what would make her smile. But Damon—she didn't even need to tell him or to ask, and she never expected it—but he'd do the silliest things (especially with Stefan gone) to get her out of her funk even just for a little while.

She smacked him in response. "And of course how could I forget? Damon Salvatore is in love with himself."

He feigned a straight face but eventually broke into a smile, "Okay, okay, you caught me. It's not my fault I'm incredibly gorgeous?"

She stood. "Oh get over yourself. I'm going to order another cup, since you finished mine, thank you very much. Do you want anything?"

He moved to stand but she forced him down with her hand. "No, you stay put, I'll take care of it. Can you try giving Caroline a call or send her a message? I wonder where she went. One minute she was on the phone – I can't believe she left me."

"Fine, your wish is my command. Oh, and Caroline didn't leave you. She's still on the phone with that stupid hybrid. I'm annoyed that I can actually hear their conversation. I think she's about to give in on the whole Paris thing."

Elena hoped he was kidding. This was getting even more complicated. After giving Damon a half-hearted smile, she made her way over to the counter to order her drink. She thought of getting something new, probably a cup of their red velvet latte. Sounds perfect.

She stood at the counter for a few minutes, waiting for the barista to take her order, but something seemed off. She didn't hear any footsteps or shuffling behind the counter, and she was starting to get the feeling that there was trouble somewhere. "Hello?" she called ringing the bell sitting right in front of her.

There was no response. It wasn't just suspicion anymore, she knew that something was definitely wrong. She leaned over the counter and saw just the right amount of evidence to confirm her hypothesis– blood.

That was all it took for her to jump over the counter and make her way to the employee exit where the drops of blood seemed to lead to. _Please don't let it be what I think it is. Please._ She prayed that it wasn't what she thought it would be—or better yet, who.

As she pushed open the door in a hurry and made her way outside, there was no use in prayer any longer. Her worst fear came true—and it smacked her right in the face. She was glued to where she was standing. She couldn't even speak.

"Ahhhhhhhh" the barista screamed, tears streaming down her face. Elena finally snapped out of her shock and with her adrenaline pumping, made her way through the alley to where the two were situated. She didn't know she had the strength but she found a way to pull the barista out of his grip and pushed her to the trash bags to soften her landing.

She was now standing between the almost killer and the victim. He seemed to be in a daze though, and didn't even bother looking at her. It must have been his bloodlust that blinded him. He pushed Elena away, flinging her like a ragdoll to make his way to his prey.

She landed on another set of trash bags, cushioning her fall, but as she tried to stand, she wasn't so lucky after all. Her arm had landed on some broken glass and was bleeding. That wasn't what she cared about though.

"STEFAN, stop. STEFAN!" she screamed at the man inches away from his helpless prey.

She didn't know if it was her voice or the fact that she herself was bleeding, but Stefan turned to her eyes wide in shock. He was finally broken from his bloodlust and was staring guilty into her eyes, lost, sad—lonely. At least that's what she thought.

His eyes may have softened but not entirely. In a split second he was face to face with Elena Gilbert. "Stefan, what are you doing?" she whispered, fear creeping up her spine. She was never afraid of him. She knew in her heart he couldn't hurt her, right? And as far as she knew Damon was helping with his cravings so he wouldn't kill anyone. But her body seemed to react differently, her stomach churning as his face continued to transform.

He took her arm and stared at it for a few seconds and then looked into her eyes once again. And she knew she was mistaken. The bloodlust was there—crystal clear and although he tried to fight it, his face had fully transformed, his eyes bloodshot, and he was shaking.

"Elena," he whispered back in desperation.

She tried her best not to scream and closed her eyes, tears beginning to stream down her face. She couldn't bear to see this. She couldn't bear to see Stefan Salvatore as a killer- her killer.

But before she knew it, the pressure on her arm was lost. As she opened her eyes she saw that Stefan was pushed against the wall by someone incredibly stronger than him—Damon. She couldn't seem to move from where she was standing.

"Stefan, snap out of it. Stefan, calm down. Don't make me do this."

Stefan seemed oblivious to what was going on. He seemed confused, lost—tortured somewhat.

Damon had to make sure. He made Stefan look at him and Elena instantly knew what he was attempting to do "Stefan, you will calm down this instant. You will do as I say and calm the hell down."

Stefan closed his eyes took a deep breath and shoved Damon away. It seems Stefan was actually the stronger one now. He glanced at his brother and said, "You cannot compel me Damon. You are not the boss of me." He then took one pleading look at Elena, apologetic it seemed to her, and in a blink of an eye he was gone.

Damon was not one to be easily shaken though the debacle tonight might have caught him off guard. As if nothing happened, he quickly brushed himself off and made his way to Elena. How could his brother do this? He knew from the conversation they had yesterday that Elena and Stefan had a falling out, and that somehow things might be different this time, but this? He never wanted to have Elena this way, for her to hate Stefan and for him to come to the rescue? That wasn't the plan. He was pushing her to him intentionally or not- and Damon didn't know how to react to that. But Elena was more important now, and if that meant taking down his brother or dealing with his games, he knew what he'd have to do.

Speaking of Elena, tears were streaming down her face, and the look of pain and confusion in her eyes broke his heart. She had her arms wrapped around herself and was shaking. Seeing this, he couldn't help but pull her close and wrap his arms around her tight.

"You're safe now Elena. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm really really sorry," he began, but was caught off guard when she wrapped her arms around him as well. "Thank you Damon," she mumbled, almost inaudibly.

He let go of her and with his right hand gently tilted her head up to face him. He then brushed back the hair that was falling in her eyes and cradled her face in his strong hand. He looked straight into her innocent brown eyes before saying, "I really am sorry Elena. For everything. I'm doing all that I can to get my brother back. Tonight may not have proven that exactly, but we both saw how strong he is. He will get better. This isn't his fault. This isn't Stefan and I'm sorry that you're here and you had to witness this."

Elena choked back a sigh. Her heart was thumping in her chest and it confused her. Damon Salvatore, bad boy Damon was standing right in front of her, apologizing for his brother's mistake and defending him. This wasn't him. This was the Stefan she used to know and love, the Stefan who made her feel safe. But as she blinked again and again, it was still Damon standing right in front of her.

Damon, after all that he's been through, was finally putting down his walls, his playboy messed up attitude and showing her that he really did love her—and that this love had changed him. He wasn't playing games with her, the feelings were real—weren't they?

"Damon, I-" she began.

He lifted a finger and pressed it against her lips, motioning for silence. "It isn't time for this—not after what you have witnessed tonight. And besides, you're bleeding. You have been for the past couple of minutes and I'm pretty sure that it must be hurting like hell. Come on, we have to get you to a hospital. Caroline will take care of the barista."

She forgot all about the pain shooting up her arm. So that's what was making her nauseous. And maybe that's why she was getting all confused. It had to be the trauma, the loss of blood—yes that's it. Because Stefan wouldn't do this to her. He told her he loved her—he couldn't hurt her. Damon was right, but the way she felt—God this was confusing.

She was starting to feel lightheaded. Her sight began to blur, hazy almost at the edges and as her eyes began to grow heavy she couldn't help but remember the last look Stefan gave her—darkness, confusion, lost and his own fear that fueled hers. His deep green eyes looked into hers pleadingly, and all she could do was watch as his silhouette faded away. And then she blacked out.


	3. Confessions

Elena shot up as if she had been struck by lightning.

Was this some alternate universe? What had just happened? She glanced at her arm, searching for any evidence of the night's shocking events – but found nothing, not even a scratch or a hint of dried blood. Had it all been a dream? Or had Stefan actually tried to hurt her?

She held her head in her hands, shaking it back and forth. _Of course not, Elena. These thoughts are crazy. Nothing happened to you. He's fine. You're fine. Everything's fine._

An image of Damon comforting her last night came to mind unbidden. _Okay, seriously, I think I'm going crazy_.

"Urghhhhh!" She mumbled into her pillow.

That was when she heard a thump. It was barely audible, but Elena didn't miss it.

Somebody was in her house.

She quickly pushed the covers back and got out of bed. She grabbed the nearest weapon she could find—an old baseball bat - and slowly made her way out of the room. She was scared, yes, but her family was more important. She had to protect them.

"Jeremy?" she called, searching for her baby brother who had come back to visit.

When there was no answer, she started to panic. "Jeremy, this isn't funny. Where are you?"

There was still no answer. Silence hung in the air, and it sent chills down her spine. She wasn't dreaming after all, something was definitely wrong.

She checked her brother's room and found nothing, the kitchen, the living room – it was completely deserted.

Then she heard another thump. And it wasn't coming from inside the house. She made her way to the front door, and with the baseball bat in one hand, she slowly opened it and peered outside. And then she screamed.

Shaking, she stepped onto her front porch to get a better look at what was lying in front of her, and dropped the baseball bat in the process. There they were…her family – Jeremy, Caroline, Bonnie, Matt, Tyler and even Alaric in a tangled mess of heads and limbs, murdered – a pool of blood surrounding them.

She quickly turned around— and found herself face to face with the person responsible, blood trickling down the sides of his mouth and hands. Stefan. She backed away from him. She was afraid—very afraid.

"No, no, no, no, no" she gasped, taking steps backward one after the other. She forgot all about the dead bodies and ended up landing on top of them. "Noooooo" she screamed, closing her eyes, tears streaming down her face. When she opened them again, it wasn't Stefan after all—it was Damon.

She blinked and it was Stefan. No, it was Damon. No, it was Stefan. Inches away from her face, fangs bared. She couldn't contain her scream.

* * *

Elena woke up with a start, tears streaming down her face. It wasn't real. It was only a nightmare. But she had to make sure. She quickly got out of bed, stormed down the stairs and without even noticing Jeremy sitting on their kitchen counter; she was out the front door. She looked at the part of the porch where the bodies were supposed to be and was relieved to find nothing, just old plywood sticking out of its place.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and relaxed as she felt a wave of satisfaction overwhelm her. _It was only a nightmare Elena, nothing happened._

She quickly turned to make her way back inside the house but instead bumped into someone familiar—someone who barely made a sound as he made his way to where she was standing. Stefan.

She looked into his eyes and saw pain, guilt, longing—sadness. In spite of the nerve- shaking nightmare, she did not scream. She wasn't afraid of him—not with the look he was giving her. Instead, she simply felt… broken.

It was then that she remembered everything that happened last night. The barista, the blood trickling down her arm, the fear in both their eyes—it all came back to her. Elena had to take a step backward and used her free hand to check her arm. There was no blood, not even a scratch, but she didn't understand what her action did to the man standing in front of her.

Stefan flinched. He tried as much as possible to keep himself from breaking down as he slowly made his way to her. Inches away from her face, he grabbed her arm and checked it for himself, but didn't let it go. He then used his free hand to tip her head up to face him.

"Damon healed you. He must have thought it would be safer for all of us."

Elena stuttered. She honestly didn't know how she was going to say anything, but managed to anyway "What are you doing here Stefan?"

He choked back what seemed to be a sob and stared at the floor. He couldn't meet her gaze because he felt guilty, and everything just felt wrong.

"I was waiting for you to wake up, so I could apologize for what happened yesterday. I didn't mean to hurt you, I wasn't going to. I know I wasn't. I couldn't. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, I'm sorry Elena, I lost control. If Damon wasn't there, who knows what could have happened, but I swear I wouldn't hurt you. I really wouldn't. I know I wouldn't. I'm really really really sorry." He was rambling.

She pulled her arm out of his grip and he felt like his heart was broken into a thousand pieces. He couldn't breathe. She wasn't going to forgive him. But then before he could be overwhelmed with grief and loss and hatred of himself, she used the same arm to lift his face this time so that they could be eye to eye.

He saw the pain and the hurt in her eyes, but also the care and concern…and was that a hint of love perhaps? He wasn't sure, but he felt her warmth just by looking at her.

"It's okay Stefan. I'm okay." she whispered shakily.

He wasn't so sure though. There was something in her voice, something that she was holding back—she was afraid of him. And that was when he noticed.

"Wait a minute. Why are you still in your pajamas? Why did you rush outside and stare at your porch for a long while? The look that you gave me, what was that about?

She couldn't hide the truth. "It's nothing. I-"

He cradled her face in his hands. "Tell me, Elena."

Surprisingly, she felt warmed by his touch. He felt the same. He wanted to linger in this moment forever. He could, he _would_ wait for her to choose him—fight for her if needed, and they could live the happily ever after that he has dreamed of ever since he laid his eyes on her, but there was something off, he just needed to hear this—this must be it—and then they could figure it out—together.

Elena used both her hands to cover his, to make sure he'd stay right where he was before explaining her nightmare.

It only took a matter of seconds for his look to change from longing and warmth, to darkness, fear and hatred of himself. Stefan knew he lost control and he desperately needed her forgiveness for him to even think of staying alive, but he was then reminded of what he was capable of, and the reason why he chose to back off in the first place. He was about to give in. He was about to tell her he loved her all over again, and figure it out from there.

But she deserved someone better. She deserved someone who could protect her. And he could snap her neck in an instant. She dreamed about it. She dreamed about him killing her. Elena Gilbert was afraid of him, and that made him hate himself even more. It was a reminder that he didn't deserve her love, her warmth, when he couldn't even protect her from himself.

He dropped his hands and shuffled his feet.

She felt her breath catch, and her heart stop. "It's okay Stefan. Really, it's okay." She tried to reach for him, but he pushed her arms away, and held them at her sides.

Stefan gritted his teeth and took a deep breath before saying. "No Elena. It is not okay. Yesterday showed you just how monstrous I am. And for almost hurting you, I will hate myself forever. I don't deserve you. I am relieved that you forgive me, that much is true, but I know now that it was selfish of me to ask you to love me back. I understand why you didn't say anything, why I shouldn't have expected anything in the first place. It all makes sense to me and this is truly what I deserve. Your fear, instead of your love. That's how it's supposed to be. "

Elena didn't know how to react, but felt the words slip out of her mouth without even thinking "Stefan that's not it. I just need time, I'm just confused and I—"

He brought his hand to her face, brushing back the hair falling in her eyes, deliberately interrupting her.

"Shhhhhhhh Elena, my love. It is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. I promised you I wouldn't hurt you, and this is me not hurting you."

He kissed the top of her head, tears slowly forming in his eyes. But before she could respond, he was gone. Elena Gilbert was left on the porch confused more than ever before, and she knew she had to get to the bottom of it before it would be too late.

* * *

A few minutes later…

"So I take it the lovely Elena is still alive?" Klaus said, peering outside his car window. "She better be. But I'm pretty sure she is or you wouldn't be here- alive."

Stefan didn't even look up and continued his walk home. He decided to take his time making his way back- he had too much on his mind. And he was pretty sure Damon would be there to mess with him, and he wasn't ready to face him now. Nor did he want to deal with the hybrid that was currently bugging him. He noticed though, that he was in Caroline's neighborhood, which must be why he was here. Stefan didn't even want to ask about that.

"It seems like all of your ladies are slipping out of your fingers. Katherine, Elena, hmm Caroline"

The mention of her name, and the fact that he brought Caroline into the picture irked him. "What do you want Klaus? Leave Elena out of it."

The hybrid got out of his car and leaned against the hood. "Nothing really, you're just too easy to annoy. Always have been, and well, frankly, I enjoy watching you suffer. And leave Elena out of it? I think Elena will leave _you_ out of it."

Stefan had enough. He grabbed Klaus and slammed him against his window. "Now that's more like it." The hybrid joked, which ticked Stefan off even more.

"I don't know what your problem is Klaus, or why you are here. I could care less if you think you've tricked Caroline; at the end of the day, your true colors will show without me needing to show her. But you know what?" He slowly let go and backed away. "Have at it. Enjoy my misery. This is what you've done. All this blood, all the lives lost –this is on your hands. You did this to me and the day will come when you will regret it. Right now, you aren't worth my time."

As he slowly walked away, he was surprised when Klaus picked him up and slammed him into the sidewalk, breaking a few of his ribs. "Oh yeah, I definitely will." He said, patting Stefan's heart before getting back into his car and speeding away.

Stefan immediately rose and was ready to retaliate, but thought better of it_. Another day, Stefan, another day._ He continued his walk.

Minutes later, he was heading up the steps of the Salvatore Mansion. He thought he had enough drama for the day, but as soon as he set foot in the door, he was instantly thrown across the room, almost landing in the fire burning in the hearth– he knew he thought wrong. Damon was home.

"What were you thinking?" he barked, while Stefan tried to catch his breath. He was lying face up on the ground and it felt as if the bones that healed a few minutes earlier were shattered all over again.

Damon crouched beside him, and in a single fluid motion, picks his brother up and throws him against the opposite wall. This time, he fell on top of the grand piano.

Before Stefan could catch his breath, Damon was standing above him, had broken a piece of wood from the piano stool and was plunging it through his chest, barely inches away from his heart. "That's for almost hurting Elena."

Damon began to walk away as Stefan coughed up and tried to recover from the attack. It took all his strength to pull out the piece of wood and pick himself up. When he finally did, and was able to catch his breath he found Damon fondling with the wood in the fire.

"I deserved that." Stefan said, making his way over to the couch and taking a seat.

"You deserve more than that Brother, remember you said you'd stake my heart if I broke hers? I'm just trying to follow your rules, but as always, keeping you alive is a better punishment." Damon replied, standing up and turning to face his brother.

"I wasn't going to hurt her."

Damon went across the room, poured himself a drink and then returned to his place in front of the fire. "I don't know if I believe you or not. Even if you didn't, draining the barista's body right in front of Elena? That would make her happy? Is that what you were thinking-that it would be okay with her?"

Damon's words stung, but he had a point. "I know, I was trying to control myself, I was not going to kill her."

"Oh really, you can tell yourself that if it makes you feel better, but we both know there's one person who witnessed what happened, and I don't think she believes you."

Stefan knew he couldn't win this one. "I know."

Damon threw the remaining contents of his glass in the fire, took a deep breath before saying. "I know I've always been the type to play games. I've always enjoyed being the bad boy. But Elena's no Katherine and you and I both know she deserves better than this. Don't push her to me like she's some kind of toy and make her hate you, because that isn't going to happen. Play fair brother, or don't play at all. "

Stefan remained silent.

"Don't make her choices for her."

Stefan looked up at his brother with a mix of despair and longing "I will always love her Damon. But.."

Damon shrugged. "Don't give me the whole I'm better for her crap—I've heard enough already. We're both vampires, we're both going to have to live with the fact that this is who we are. This is so stupid. Make up your mind and let her figure out hers. I'm genuinely trying to help you here, and I don't even know why the hell I'm doing it."

Stefan stood but Damon pushed him out of his way as he made his way to the front door and he slammed the door behind him. Stefan was left alone to his thoughts, the silence eerie and unwelcoming.

As Stefan stared into the remaining crackles of fire in the hearth, slowly dying down, he could only hope that Elena knew how much he loved her, how much he didn't want to give her up to his brother, how much he wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go—and how hard he'd fight for her when the time was right. He closed his eyes and could feel tears forming. He made a silent prayer—one of some parallel universe where he could just court Elena everyday for the rest of her life, take her across oceans, kiss her till the sun comes up while his brother Damon does the same with his own soul mate.

But as he opens his eyes, and a tear starts to fall, he realizes he is back in the living room, back to the reality where it may come down to sacrificing one for the other. As he looks over to the hearth, the fire is almost out—and he knows whatever it may come down to, his love for this one girl will never change. Because this was the kind of love people only dream of in their lifetime, and not like the fire in the hearth, no- it was not one to die so easily.

_Disclaimer: For those who thought this was a DELENA story, think again._


	4. Blood is Thicker Than Water

**Chapter 4: Blood is Thicker Than Water**

"So what have I missed? I didn't call for this sleepover for you to mope Elena. Talk to me." Bonnie said, giving her best friend a look of both concern and curiosity.

But Elena didn't seem to hear a thing she said. She was still staring out into space lost in thought. Caroline on the other hand was too busy curling her hair in the mirror to pay attention to the conversation as well.

Bonnie sighed, waved a hand in front of Elena's face. "Hello, earth to my best friend? Are you there?"

That finally got her attention. Elena turned to her friend and smiled, running a hand through her messed up hair, trying to make it less obvious that she was distracted. "Um, what were we talking about again?"

Bonnie gave her friend a serious look. "What's gotten into you, girl? I've been going on and on about my self-proclaimed vacation and how I've gotten over my mother issues but I don't think you heard any of it. Is something wrong?"

Caroline laughed, surprising both her friends. As they glanced over to her, she put down the curling iron she was holding and turned to face them. "Oh, she's just figuring out which Salvatore kisses better – Damon or Stefan."

"CAROLINE." Elena shrieked. She stood up and made her way towards where Caroline was seated. She gave her friend a quick and playful hair pull before turning to her other best friend who looked both curious and confused.

Elena thought Bonnie would be angry with her – that is, with all that they've been through the past year and all—but was surprised when Bonnie said, "Oh it was bound to happen some time. The chemistry in the room when you're with either Salvatore brother is unbearable. I don't understand why you couldn't see it? You can tell just by the way both of them look at you how much they care—and how much they want you. But okay—details—who kisses better?"

Elena felt her cheeks warm up. She was glad that Bonnie was taking this so lightly, but at the same time, felt a tinge of guilt especially with the fact that Damon turned her mother into a vampire and for a time, Stefan was ripping hearts out of innocents in Mystic Falls. The decision itself was so complex and that's why she's been so distracted lately. It wasn't that Caroline or Bonnie needed to know everything-but then of course Elena knew that they'd see right through her anyway.

"You know guys, it's really not about that—" she began, before cutting herself off. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell her friends what was going on, because she did. The fact of the matter is, she was doing them a favor by not dragging them into her confusion. "Caroline's the one you should ask. She's been making out with the enemy."

It was Caroline's turn to blush. "ELENA."

"Boy I missed a lot of making out when I left." Bonnie joked.

Caroline felt like she should hide under a rock now. _How embarrassing_. "It's really nothing. I'm just distracting him like you guys ordered, so we can figure out a plan to get rid of all the originals, get Tyler back and all of us can live in peace while Elena has fun with the brothers."

Elena shrugged. "We talked about this before. But really Caroline, what do you think Tyler will feel when you tell him you kissed Klaus?"

Caroline pursed her lips before mumbling, "I thought you were on my side. It was for the greater good."

But none of them, not even Caroline herself, seemed to buy it.

Bonnie didn't want them to fight on such a lovely night, so she kept her questions and doubts to herself. "Hey, no judgments here. We just want you to be careful, that's all. Need I remind you that Klaus is the alpha original? He always seems to be one step ahead of us, even ahead of his own family. I just don't want you to get hurt and neither do I want this for Tyler." She then pointed to her other best friend.

"And as for you, Elena, I don't know what you are planning to do, or what you SHOULD do for that matter, but I think you better figure it out real soon. You can't keep up this middle ground charade for long, unless you want to lose both of them. They're brothers, I get that, but you're not Katherine. Don't be."

The comment stung, but Elena knew it was the truth. "The thing is, it's because I care about both of them that I can't seem to bring myself to make a decision. If I pick Damon I will lose Stefan and vice versa. I can't bear the thought of either scenario right now—not after all that's happened, and not with the Originals still on the loose."

She felt her tears start to well up, but before she could even break down, Caroline pulled her in for a hug motioning Bonnie to join her as well. "You know we're always here for you—no matter what. We've stayed together through more heartbreak than most people get in a lifetime—we can survive anything."

Elena smiled. "Thanks you guys."

As they released their hold on one another, Bonnie suddenly had an idea. Enough of the drama, it was time to have some fun and she knew exactly how to do it. In a matter of seconds, a pillow levitated towards Caroline and smacked her straight in the face.

"You didn't just do that" she screamed, "My HAIR!" She quickly moved to the far end of the room, faster than a blink of an eye—vampire style.

"Oh this is going to be good!" Elena said. She laughed and grabbed a pillow from her bed and smacked Bonnie with it playfully.

"Pillowfight!" Bonnie shouted, using her magic to make the rest of the pillows on Elena's bed levitate and move towards her victims. Caroline moved too quickly to be touched, while Elena wasn't so lucky. It seemed that she was the easy target for both of them.

"No f—air you g-uuys" Elena said, in between smacks.

Pretty soon feathers were flying all over the place and all three of the girls shared the same feeling—just like old times, before all this darkness had overshadowed their lives. They couldn't seem to stop laughing and running all over the place until they were all breathing heavily.

"I give up!" Bonnie said, raising her hands in surrender.

Elena dropped her pillow and so did Caroline. They all lay down on the Caroline's carpeted bedroom floor, staring up at the ceiling. Bonnie couldn't help but continue to levitate the feathers around the room.

It was Elena who broke the silence. "I miss this," she said, taking the hands of both of her friends in hers.

"Me too." Bonnie replied.

Caroline leaned over to her side, facing both her friends, and smiled. "Well even if we're vampires or witches or dopplegangers, we're still the same crazy people we used to be, just living crazier and more supernatural lives. And for the record Elena, I know you never asked for my opinion but I'm going to say it anyway. I think Stefan is your epic love, and even though he may have turned bad for a while, he's done so much good. Nobody is perfect, but I think he is the one perfect for you."

"Thanks" Elena said, smiling to herself. Food for thought, maybe the decision wasn't that hard after all.

"This. Is. Stupid." Stefan mumbled in between punches. He and Damon had been sparring for a little over an hour and neither of them have been pinned down or knocked out—at least, not yet.

Damon ducked as Stefan tried to give him a kick in the head. He crouched down and using one of his legs, made his brother trip. Stefan then toppled over and was laying face up on the ground, stunned.

"You call this stupid brother?" Damon said, as he moved on top of Stefan, using one hand to pin him down on the ground while the other holding a stake to his heart. He put more pressure around Stefan's neck, choking him.

"I could kill you in a second, and you call that stupid? Klaus could be me right now and he wouldn't even hesitate."

Damon softened his hold, put the stake in his back pocket and stood up, reaching out to help his brother up.

"I don't care." Stefan mumbled, embarrassed at his lack of strength. Instead of taking his brother's hand, he sat up on his own, used his free hand to rub his neck, and looked up to Damon knowingly.

The latter laughed, moving towards the table where his glass of alcohol was sitting. He took a sip before saying, "You care and you and I both know it. Especially if it were the lovely Elena who you had to protect."

Stefan remained silent.

"I really feel like Klaus is up to something. His mother too. The originals in general are bad news and you better be prepared to fight when the time comes." Damon explained. Stefan pulled himself to his feet and made his way to the fire burning in the hearth. He then remembered what he was pondering over the other day—how he might lose Elena or Damon in the process.

But before he could say anything about it, the doorbell rang.

"Just in time. You wait here." Damon said, making his way out of the room in a hurry.

In a matter of seconds he was back, this time with two full glasses of fresh blood in tow. "This is as fresh as it can get, I had someone bring it over. It's actually still warm. You should practice with this, and we shall see how much you can control yourself."

As Stefan turned to face him, Damon expected his vampire self to appear, but instead he was the same old Stefan—and he wasn't even trying to hold his breath.

"Brother?" Damon asked, curiously, raising a glass to him to see his reaction.

Stefan took a deep breath and slowly made his way towards his brother. He was using all his energy to control his vampire side from coming out, to control his bloodlust, and it was Elena—the way she looked at him, the way she held his face in her hands, the way she kissed him, that fueled his strength.

He took the glass in his hand and then brought on the transformation himself. He could handle this. He knew he could.

"Cheers." He said, raising the glass and then taking a sip of the fresh blood. At first it felt like nothing—like he could control it—that he could stop himself when he wanted to. But as he drank more and more, he felt like he was slowly losing his grip—that he was slowly losing himself.

But before anything else could happen, the glass was empty. Stefan smiled, satisfied. He placed the glass on the table and turned to face his brother.

Damon had already finished his glass and gave his brother a round of applause. "Seems like you're stronger than I thought. But that's not why we're here, right? We're here to challenge you." He then snapped his fingers.

Stefan didn't expect what happened next.

In walked Matt Donovan, with a large cut in his neck area making his way towards where Stefan was standing. The latter seemed glued to the spot. It took everything in his power to control himself. This was Matt, their friend, for crying out loud.

"What are you doing?" Stefan said through clenched teeth. Before Matt or Damon could say anything, Stefan was already standing right in front of Damon, ready to rip his heart out.

He grabbed his brother by the neck and was about to toss him across the room before a voice behind him said.

"Helping you Stefan. We want to help you."

Stefan dropped his brother on the ground turned to Matt and gave himself a second to regain his composure. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath before making his way to his friend. He was back to being regular Stefan—non vampire Stefan, at least for that moment. "You don't need to do this Matt. Really." Stefan tried then and there to compel him. "Go home."

"No, Stefan. Drink."

Matt had vervain around his neck, a necklace Elena must have given him as well to protect him from being compelled. He pulled on the chain and threw it across the room. "Stefan, if you want to protect Elena. If you want to defeat Klaus – drink. I trust you."

Stefan looked from Matt's eyes to his neck. Blood was trickling down the side, dampening his collared shirt. Some of it was starting to form a puddle on their hardwood floor. Damon simply looked on as Stefan took Matt in his hands, and began to drink.

A couple seconds passed, and Stefan was still drinking. He didn't seem to want to stop, and Matt was already turning pale, trying and failing to release himself from Stefan's grip. But Stefan knew he had to stop before he lost himself. The first person who came to mind was Elena, and that this was her best friend, her only human best friend that she could count on, and he wouldn't hurt her. Damon was about to pry Stefan off Matt but before he could do anything, Stefan released his grip and moved away.

Matt fell to the floor, but managed to sit up on his own. Both he and Damon were surprised at what Stefan had just done. He had walked away on his own after drinking blood from a real human.

Damon grabbed a handkerchief from his back pocket and handed it to Matt to make the blood stop. He then moved towards his brother and gave him a pat on the back. "Nicely done."

But Stefan had other plans. He turned and punched his brother in the face—hard. Damon was stunned and used his hand to check if anything was broken. "Matt, thanks for tonight man, but I think you should go home. Stefan doesn't seem to be pleased with what we've done."

Matt quickly stood and made his way out of the room. He didn't want to be in between the Salvatore brothers and he knew he had played his part well already. Mission accomplished. "But for the record Stefan, I knew you could handle it. Damon just insisted that we'd test you". It was then that they heard the door shut behind him and the brothers were left to themselves.

Before Damon could say anything else, Stefan punched him again. "What were you thinking Damon? Do you know that I could have killed him? That I could have drained every single drop of blood from his body? Could you live with that? That's Elena's best friend."

Stefan picked him up by the shirt and tossed him across the room.

"You must be seriously crazy for bringing him into this."

Damon mumbled. "It was his idea. HE wanted to help you too. HE volunteered."

"But you're the stupid one who let this happen." Stefan said, making his way over to where Damon was toppled over.

Damon quickly stood and tried to block Stefan's punches, but to no avail. Stefan was strong –as expected with all the human blood in his system and without even using much strength he was again able to pick his brother up and this time, throw him into the bookshelf. Dozens of encyclopedias and old novels fell from their shelves in the process.

In mere seconds Stefan was crouching right in front of his brother, stake in hand (which he took from Damon's back pocket) looking at his brother in the eye. He then used his free hand to pull his brother up, choking him, like Damon did earlier when they were sparing.

"Now how does it feel to be the one of the other side?" He held the stake inches from Damon's heart and raised it- about to plunge it right through, but in a split second, drove it through his stomach instead.

Damon fell to the ground. Stefan walked once again to the hearth and stood there. "I already said you could have Elena. If you want her, you can have her. I know I'm dangerous, that is clear enough. You don't have to keep reminding me. You can protect her while I am the person she needs protection from, I get that. You didn't need to drag Matt or anyone else into this."

Damon closed his eyes as he pulled the stake out of his body. He then took a deep breath before saying. "First of all, I already said this—Matt VOLUNTEERED to help. He wanted to make sure YOU could protect Elena when needed especially when we battle the Originals. He cares about you, like a brother, in spite of the fact you stole his girl once upon a time. Second of all, can you stop with the whole I can protect Elena crap? We didn't do this to prove that point— to remind you that you can't handle this—but that you actually can! That you CAN protect her, that's the point. How many times do I have to tell you brother? Huh? We're both vampires. We're both monsters. We both may or may not have the tendency to lose our edge but tonight proved just how strong you are—and we need that strength if we want to defeat them."

Stefan shook his head. "Why do you keep doing this? There's no war yet. What do you get out of it? You didn't seem to give a crap for a hundred years or so you don't have to start now."

Damon walked over to his brother, looked him in the eye and said. "Because we're family. You're all I've got and I really feel like something bad is about to happen and we need you. And about Elena? You should already know the answer to that one. The only chance I'll ever have is if she genuinely chooses me. It can't be because she hates you, or because you forced us to end up together. She deserves better than that and I think you'd do the same for me if the roles were reversed. Right now, it's all up to her."

"Damn you're getting soft Damon—you're starting to sound like me" Stefan joked, giving him a playful punch in the arm.

"No I'm not." He said, smirking.

But Stefan knew better. His brother was changing – for good. And he could only hope that when the choice was finally made and all things were said and done, this part of him would still remain the same.


End file.
